How to Manage Anger in Your Marriage
When two people with different preferences, personalities and habits live under the same roof, there are bound to be instances where they will get irritated or angry with each other. Although it is common for couples to fight, especially once they have reached a level of comfort with each other, it can get challenging to put up with a hot-tempered partner. In this case, the couple’s ability to deal with anger in marriage can make or break the relationship.
Couples who frequently fight experience constant feelings of frustration, fear of losing themselves, hurt and anxiety. Such a scenario can make marriage the source of motivation to build patience and control one’s drastic emotional outbursts. If your home feels like a battlefield due to rage and negativity, this article can give you some tips on effective anger management in marriage and how to achieve healthy emotional well-being with your partner.
Neutralize and de-escalate vulnerability and emotionality
Trying to control your partner while they are angry may only lead to further uncooperative and defensive behavior. It is unwise to get angry in response to the other person’s anger. Let them calm themselves and wait for their emotions to subside. It is best to approach them when they can think rationally. In simple terms, this is called de-escalating the situation. By doing this, you are giving your partner some space and time to think about their behavior and contemplate their wrongdoings.
Be assertive yet respectful
By acting assertively, you are taking the position to express your opinion while respectfully considering your partner’s feelings and wants as well. When you speak in an assertive tone, your partner will be able to understand your strong feelings and how confident you are in voicing out your thoughts and emotions. This will allow both of you to communicate seamlessly, and in the process empowering your teamwork as a couple!
Constructive communication, understanding and validation
In a marriage, people often become angry when they feel that they aren’t heard, taken seriously or that they are under-appreciated in the relationship. This may lead to them feeling disappointed and ignored. Hence, it’s important to have a good grasp of your partner’s thoughts and feelings. Effectively dealing with anger in marriage can happen only if you have constructive communication where both of you understand and validate every encounter in order to eliminate any sort of misunderstanding and overthinking.
Practice compassion and patience
Beneath every angry person lies someone who is deeply hurt, frustrated and is unable to channel their emotions in a helpful way. In fact, over time, anger often becomes a disguise to make the person feel powerful and in control. Anger acts as an armour to protect the sensitive side of oneself. This is why showing compassion towards your spouse and trying to be as patient as possible is important.
However, the situation could also get out of hand when the relationship causes problems that become too heavy to bear psychologically, leading to mental disorders such as anxiety and depression. This is when you may need to seek professional guidance to learn how to overcome anger in marriage and work towards achieving a positive and harmonious state of mental well-being. Our experts at Evolve Brain Training are trained to exactly do this. For inquiries on treatments and sessions, get in touch with us by dialing +971 4 589 6983 now.
Dr. Upasana Gala is the founder and CEO of Evolve Brain Training, a Neurofeedback-centered institute that focuses on using non-invasive brain training techniques to maximize the brain's true potential.
