Breakup recovery 101: Simple tips to help you get over a breakup

It is completely normal for all of us to take some time to ruminate and go through the break-up phase especially if things ended on a bad note. Breakups qualify as traumatic events where re-telling the story numerous times is a relatively normal reaction. However, if you find yourself telling the same story every two-three weeks to the same person or constantly checking your ex’s social media or ruminating and reading old texts you exchanged there might be a little intervention required. Unfortunately, there is neither a magic trick nor a standard solution for this as every individual works differently and it certainly takes a lot of time to let go and get past ones feelings. If you are also sailing in the same boat, you may be able to relate to the below feelings or situations:

• A Depressed mood, feeling lonely or not loved 
• A diminishing interest or pleasure in most or all activities, nearly every day. 
• A decrease in the processing information/thoughts and a reduction in physical activity 
• Feeling tired throughout the day 
• Feeling worthless or guilty and constantly thinking of the reason for the breakup

If your relationship was a significant part of your life that has perhaps consumed you, it is time to look at some simple ways that can streamline your daily routine and get you out of this phase. 

Physically working your way through the breakup

One of the best way to dwell on your heartache is to throw yourself into an exciting and engaging physical activity that will keep you on your toes. Research indicates that one of the best self-help treatments of breakups is indulging in quick physical routines like brisk walking, short workouts at the gym, or some fun sport. Our brain is a very adaptive organ. It is designed to seek pleasure over pain. However, when you spend too much time dwelling on to your past and overthinking, your brain familiarizes itself with this routine and begins to find pleasure in the mental anguish. Hence, channelize this energy in doing something worthwhile and productive! 

Focus on the future rather than the past 

We all need a replacement to keep our minds wandering especially when you are going through a difficult phase in your life. The old saying – time heals all wounds is indeed the truth as your brain needs some time to let go of the memories and experiences with your ex-partner. Meanwhile, it is advisable to get involved in a fun project or getting out of the town for a while as these can bring positive changes and opportunities to promote healing. 

Binging away the heartache is not recommended

When you begin to wonder if you are spending more than required time on eating ice cream and drinking, you would probably know the answer to the question! It is best to get out of the couch and catch up with your friends or even be open to the idea of start seeing other people. You might also realize that it’s time to get back into the real world and understand the real meaning of self-care. This does not mean binging and crying over a tub of ice cream although it may help in the initial stages, but, if you see this phase prolonging, it is time to take charge and re-connect with people who matter to you! 

Give it time before you begin your dating journey again

It is always recommended to have an arbitrary time limit on singlehood as you may still have residual feelings for your ex. The important thing to do every now and then is to check in with yourself on how you feel about dating and be mindful before you get in the dating gameplay!

Our specialists at Evolve Brain Training work towards attaining a sense of mental peace, confidence and improve the well-being for a harmonious life ahead. For more information on our services, fill out our contact form and we will get in touch with you soon! 

Dr. Upasana Gala is the founder and CEO of Evolve Brain Training, a Neurofeedback-centered institute that focuses on using non-invasive brain training techniques to maximize the brain's true potential.