Everyone goes through an “I hate my life” phase at one point or another. These are the times you lose interest in the outside world and get demotivated and exhausted easily.
When you’re stuck in this cycle of unhappiness, weariness and apathy, you might start thinking there’s no way out of it.
However, there are several ways to get out of this mental rut and learn to love your life again.
You can start with personal changes, such as aiming to be more appreciative and exploring your passions.
You can align these personal initiatives with getting professional help. For instance, Evolve Brain Training has a program focusing on stress management using neurofeedback, which has helped a lot of individuals take more positive, active steps to a better life.
By taking an intentional approach, you can overcome your mental rut and learn how to enjoy life again.
Turn Negativity Into Positivity: Learning to Love Your Life Again
If you’re ready to turn your negative, self-deprecating thoughts into positive, healthy ones, follow these 10 tips:
1. Engage in Self-Reflection
Understanding why you’re unhappy with your life is the first step you need to take to overcome this mindset.
Think about the things that make you feel dissatisfied. It may be your job, routine at home or difficulty finding time to do the things you want.
Identifying the cause of your unhappiness is crucial for helping you find ways to overcome your feelings of discontent and make the changes you need to learn how to enjoy life every day.
2. Empty Your Mind of Negative Automatic Thoughts
Negative automatic thoughts are irrational, self-defeating conscious and subconscious thoughts that pop up in your mind in response to certain events or situations.
The study The Effect of Automatic Thoughts on Hopelessness: Role of Self-esteem as a Mediator (ÇAKARa, 2014) posits that automatic thoughts can lead to feelings of hopelessness and low self-esteem. Although these thoughts are automatic, you can still control them.
Start by thinking of positive thoughts to replace your negative ones. For example, you’re faced with a challenging task. Instead of automatically thinking, “I can’t do it,” you may want to shift your framing to “I can try.” If you’re often anxious about trying out something new, you may want to think of it not as a reason to fail, but as an opportunity to learn.
Next, turn these happy thoughts into positive affirmations and you’re on your way to feeling better about yourself.
3. Practice Mindfulness Daily
Mindfulness is a practice that allows you to be aware of and focus on your surroundings and internal state in the present moment.
Various studies, including Mindfulness and Symptoms of Depression and Anxiety in the General Population: The Mediating Roles of Worry, Rumination, Reappraisal and Suppression (Parmentier et al., 2019), prove that attending to present-moment thoughts and feelings can reduce depression and anxiety.
Practicing mindfulness every day helps you realize that negative thoughts are momentary feelings that will go away and don’t have to weigh you down.
One way of building mindfulness into your life is through meditation. Sit cross-legged on the floor or a comfy chair and focus on your breathing.
After a few seconds, widen your focus. Pay attention to the sounds around you, the sensations you feel and ideas running in your mind without making any judgments.
Take as much time as you can meditating to make the most of this mindfulness exercise.
4. Be More Appreciative
Focusing on the good things that make you happy can be a huge help if you want to know how to enjoy life to the fullest.
Think about everything that helps you live a comfortable life right now or enjoy your day and appreciate them. It may be your university degree, financial aid from your parents, or a lunch treat from your coworker.
Learn to be thankful for even the smallest things as well. These can include having a great view of the sunset from your home or having some free time at night to watch a movie. A simple way to make gratefulness a habit is to maintain a gratitude journal. It’s easy to incorporate into your daily routine, and the few minutes you set aside for jotting down thankful thoughts each day can have a remarkable positive impact on your mental mood.
When you start being more appreciative, you can stop focusing on the things making you unhappy and you’ll have a more positive outlook in life.
5. Practice Forgiveness
Forgiving someone who has wronged you can be difficult, but constantly thinking about them and what they’ve done can give you more negative thoughts, which can, in turn, lead to repressed hostility.
When you learn to forgive others, you won’t be reminded of what they did. Research published by the American Psychological Association shows that when this happens, you can reduce your depression and anxiety, and release deep-seated emotions.
Self-forgiveness is a crucial part of learning how to love your life again as well. This act enables you to improve your focus, make better decisions, be more productive and grow as a person.
Learning to forgive others and yourself can help you feel rejuvenated and more motivated to live a happier life.
6. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Comparing yourself to others is an unhealthy habit. A study on Using Social Media for Social Comparison and Feedback-Seeking (Nesi & Prinstein, 2015) shows a link between social comparison and symptoms of depression among teenagers.
Although it is an unhealthy practice, there’s usually no going around it since nearly everyone has access to social media.
However, the sooner you drop this habit, the faster you can start becoming more content with your life since you will be more grateful for what you already have.
Also, learn to direct your focus and energy on what you need to do to achieve your goals and be happier.
7. Find Your Passion
Engaging in activities you love is a great way to find meaning in life.
Think about the hobbies and other things you loved doing before. This can include playing the guitar, baking or traveling.
If you’ve always considered taking up a new hobby or being more active in charitable or environmental efforts, pursue it now.
Whichever activity you choose, pursue it now to find out if you are truly interested in doing it.
When you find something you love doing and you’re fully invested in it, you will start feeling more fulfilled.
8. Strengthen Your Social Relationships
The absence of meaningful relationships can leave you feeling lonely, isolated and unwanted.
As such, maintain and strengthen your relationships with your loved ones and truest, most loyal friends.
If you want to widen your social circle, choose people you can trust, and who are honest yet non-judgmental.
Strengthening your relationships with your family and friends is one of the best ways to improve your mood and mindset. Send family members a message when you miss them, or schedule regular dates with a close friend – and see how these simple ways of connecting with people who care about you can improve your well-being.
9. Start Making Changes
If your unhappiness is caused by something you can control or change, take action.
For instance, if you’re experiencing burnout at work, take a vacation or request a reduction in your workload.
If you have a toxic friend, distance yourself from them.
Learning and unlearning habits can make a huge difference in your mood and wellness, so don’t hesitate to make the necessary changes, no matter how small.
10. Seek Professional Help
If you’re still having challenges learning how to love your life again, ask for professional help. Doing so is a must if you’re in despair and need to deal with intrusive thoughts.
For instance, patients who have undergone neurofeedback therapy with Evolve Brain Training report that the sessions have helped them identify the cause of their mental rut. Mental health specialists can assist you in learning healthy ways to deal with your negative thoughts.
By working with a mental health professional, you can receive a customized treatment plan that will help you learn to love your life again.
If you are discontented with your life right now, remember that you don’t have to continue living with this mindset.
When you follow these tips, you can find the silver lining in every situation and start living a happier life.
Contact us today to learn about our therapy options and how we can help you start your healing journey.
Dr. Upasana Gala is the founder and CEO of Evolve Brain Training, a Neurofeedback-centered institute that focuses on using non-invasive brain training techniques to maximize the brain’s true potential.